Please excuse my absence…
I’ve been experiencing something that one might like to call a, “20 Something Crisis.”
You know, I have a book on this topic called Twenty-Something, Twenty-Everything. Now would be a great time to give it a read. It talks about the mid-life crisis and how it has nothing on the amount of anxiety and overwhelm that 20-somethings experience.
Let’s go back to last week – I believe I mentioned that “unemployed gals like moi can lay by the pool reading InStyle all day.” Well, I’m excited to announce that this little gal will no longer be available to partake in such events on Monday through Friday.
I was offered a job.
sigh of relief
You can still refer to me as “Megan,” “Meg,” or “Meggy.” Or, you can call me, “Alumni/Development Coordinator of the Medical University of South Carolina Children’s Hospital.”
The choice is yours, but I do prefer that last one, please.
…ok, so back to this crisis.
I never knew I would experience this feeling. It’s definitely not anything too important, but yes, it has taken a toll on my mood lately. Likewise, it has had something to do with my blogging lately -or lack thereof.
I moved out of my condo on Memorial Day. Not exactly the way I would’ve liked to spend the national holiday, but I was thankful my mom and Brandon were off work to help me.
I loved my two bedroom place, but my roommate moved to another state, my landlords were terrible, and frankly, as I’m in this college girl-working girl transition, it’s nothing I could dream of affording by myself.
I dumped my things into storage and took my absolute necessities to a friend’s place for a temporary solution until I can find either, A. another roommate, B. a one bedroom place, or C. heck, I don’t know.
The feeling of leaving my condo (aka my sanctuary, my humble abode, -whatever you want to call it, it was MINE) was awful. It was as if I didn’t have a place to call my own at this time. Well, I don’t, come to think of it. This “limbo-land” is not sitting well with me. It has only been a day since I’ve been out of my condo, and the feeling I have without it is just not complete!
I don’t like the feeling of uncertainty.
Not only that, but I have this weird “real-world” anxiety. It sounds crazy for me to say that because I’ve been in a hurry to graduate and step into the work world as soon as possible. I’ve always been in a hurry to grow up. Now, I’m starting to feel as though I’ve been wishing life away.
It has now hit me that I’m no longer dependent on my parents. Well, of course I will always be dependent on them in certain ways (and I’m so thankful for their support -they aren’t just throwing me out into the world like a fish with no water), but for the first time in my life, I am not dependent on them to eat, drink, sleep, etc. I’ve gained my independence, which is awesome, but wooh! -it happened so fast.
Honestly, I can’t tell you why I’m typing all of this, or why I’m feeling this -because this is what I’ve wanted for years and years.
I’m having trouble realizing what it is that I want out of life …and it’s making me overwhelmed and frustrated.
In the blink of an eye, I’m a college graduate, technically homeless for a couple weeks, and responsible for making my own money. Once again, all wonderful things (ehh- except for the homeless part), but it leaves a lot of unanswered questions about “what’s next?”
I am taking into account how lucky I am to have a problem as simple as this, but boy- it’s an uneasy feeling. I’m so blessed to have a job and supportive friends/family. It’s just a transition, and I’m obviously not too great with change.
So here is my rant about my Twenty-Something Crisis.
If you’ve read till the end, then bless your heart.
ps. it really is amazing how easily a bubble bath can solve life’s little problems.